Okay. On Sunday to Monday (Feb 13-14) and on Thursday to Friday (Feb 17-18), I thought I was going to die of stress. Not seriously, of course, but I was pushing my luck totally beyond the extreme; I'm not quite sure if there was any point in my life where I crammed as much as I did this week. It's a miracle I actually survived, and with very few untoward incidents.
I'll do my best to give a summarized version, since I prefer to write everything in detail where no one will get to see it but me. Hmm, let's start with Sunday... See, I had this term paper due the Friday before (Feb 11). <Aaah, I hope the teacher concerned won't ever stumble on this entry because it's so shameful! I'm supposed to be this smart and responsible student!> The problem was that by Feb 10, my groupmates and I had barely done anything; our "term paper" consisted then of the introduction, notecards, and bibliocards, period. I really didn't mean to leave it till the very last possible moment, but there was just no time! Partly because of the insane amount of homework/quizzes we get dumped with week after week, partly because I had tons of extra stuff to do, and partly because my time management absolutely sucks (I might well be the worst procrastinator the world has ever seen).
However, God took great pity on me and decided to be merciful: He called out to the heart of another section's teacher to give an extension (I suppose he tried the other teachers too, but in vain). So, I was ecstatically elated to hear, the due date was moved to a weekend after, to Monday (Feb 14). Yes! Kathryn and I weren't about to die on Thursday night! Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord!!!
Oh, what has Kathryn got to do with anything? I suppose by now we've deserved the unofficial status of "Best Crammers in Class", because--and I'm not being arrogant--I believe that we undoubtedly are. And by the way, there is this one little thing about the grouping for that term paper: teacher appointed the leaders, and told them to pick any two other people (obviously not among the leaders to form groups of 3 or 4. Well guess what. I'm a leader! And Kathryn is too! And oh that is soooo absolutely perfect! Nothing would make me happier than to be a leader! ...NOT!
That forced arrangement was practically one of the worst, most horrible, irritating, unfair, effing bloody things that we had to live through for that subject this school year. I say "we" because I'm referring to myself and Kathryn. For all I know, the other leaders could have bloody well enjoyed slaving over their papers! But as for me, I hated it SO SO SO SO much! Primarily because there was now no way Kathryn and I would be groupmates, and therefore no way to help each other do one paper together. Now we were stuck doing the paper for other people practically completely by ourselves.
I'm sorry, I hope none of our groupmates ever get to read this entry either. I don't mean to offend the members of my group, though I can't exactly say the same for hers. It's just that my groupmates and I did try to work on the paper together... albeit just twice. The first time it was just two of us, and we were working separately. The second time it was the two of us, and after awhile came the third member... and we ended up staring at the monitor in silence for the better part of those few hours.
So anyway, thankfully there was now the weekend to cram and not just 12 hours (Thursday 5 p.m. to Friday 5 a.m. it would have been, without sleep). Unfortunately, the weekend wasn't exactly free. My friends and I had planned weeks before to watch "Phantom of the Opera" on Feb 12, Saturday. I agreed because I thought we'd have submitted the paper already by Friday so I'd have been free that weekend. When I learned about the extension, I didn't and couldn't cancel the movie plan, so I went. That Saturday I woke up at 1 p.m., watched POTO, and got home at 5. I have absolutely no idea how I managed to waste all the time between 5 to 10 p.m., because that was only when I started cramming the whole body, conclusion, recommendation, and outline.
I worked and toiled till...can you guess what time? Till around 5:15 a.m. of Sunday. I know, I know, I'm crazy; I couldn't work with people around so I waited till the whole country was asleep before actually doing anything. Because one of my groupmates fortunately made all the graphs already (it was a gargantuan help), I managed to type about 1/3 of the body (presentation and interpretation) that night/morning. It was hell to get started; not knowing what to say first, where to begin, how to mush--i mean, incorporate--all those sources into the interpretation and analysis, not even knowing if I was doing the right thing...
So I slept at 5:30 a.m. Sunday, and woke up 1+ p.m. I think. Plenty of time to work on the paper right? Wrong. Very, very wrong. Because, there just had to be a New Year's celebration at MTQ and my class just had to perform this song-with-sign-language number and I just absolutely had to go because there were plus points and I totally needed the points because I am at present silding further and further away from the Chinese exemptions I so desperately want.
So I went. And I performed. And boy were there many of us: 8 out of 38; Which fact incurred the wrath of Poseidona who loves to wear flowers. But that's not important, at least not in this entry. When I got home it was around 5 p.m., and I plopped down in front of the computer to work on the term paper that was due in less than 15 hours.
I typed and thought and ymed (to ask questions about the paper and find sympathy in the misery of others who were still up doing last minute touches/cramming on their papers). The hours went by...my deluded little self actually thought I'd finish by 2 or 3 a.m. and therefore still have enough time to cram my Chinese LONG QUIZ, first period Science quiz, and last period A.P. quiz. But there's no way I could be that lucky, really. I ended up working a whoooooole 14 hours straight, and without a single second of sleep. Funny, I hadn't actually been sleepy to the point of brain malfunction during those 15 hours...I work very, very well under pressure, see. I don't like it one bit, but I can't seem to curb that awful habit of mine!
I finished the paper around quarter to 7, took a quick bath, printed the paper till 7:27, and got to school about 7:30, which was really cutting it close. Oh my gosh, I made it! I'm satisfied that I worked on it to the best of my capabilities, and I assure you that anyone who doesn't know me wouldn't have been able to tell it was crammed. I really want to know what score we got for it...
When I got to school I still had adrenaline pumping, and I thought to study for the Science quiz which I believed to be in less than 10 minutes. One of my groupmates took care of submitting the killer term paper (note, I say "killer" because it almost killed me--it kind of did for the day). I was going to study for Science, but I felt okay with not doing too well on it if ever because I could afford to cancel this quiz and I wasn't running for exemptions anyway. However, someone told me that the Chinese long quiz was FIRST PERIOD! I nearly died of panic. I had NOT, totally NOT, studied a single word of anything, let alone two whole lessons! And we were having the LQ in what, less than 8 minutes?! I was so scared! I kept panicking, shrieking I was going to fail, staring at the seemingly unending list of sheng tse tsoo in without absorbing anything, flipping through the reviewer and having absolutely no idea where to start... Thank goodness one of my groupmates was there trying to calm me a bit so I could actually absorb something.
If I'm remembering correctly, that LQ was the first ever in my personal history that I practically did not study for. Because I always study for everything; for both quizzes and LQ's alike I cram studying on the day itself, during periods before the test. The only reason I hadn't been able to study at all prior to those precious 8 minutes is that our wonderful, fantastic teacher had never actually told us what time the Chinese LQ would be. If I had only known it was bloody first period, I would have worked on the term paper faster and forced myself to make studying-time for the LQ
When we were about to start the test I was in no way ready for, who should come rushing in the room but Kathryn! Oh my gosh, she's actually worse off than I am! And that's really saying something...Her term paper was late (we found out later that 2 pages were even missing), her glasses framed a face that was powdery-white with stress overload, she looked to have been dragged through hell and back, and worst of all she hadn't even gotten the chance to so much as open her Chinese workbook and scan through anything. At that point, I felt slightly luckier that my lot hadn't been as bad as hers (although she did get some sleep and I got literally not one second of it).
As for Chinese...up to now she hasn't returned our LQ's yet; she's had 4 days to check but she didn't return them last Friday. It will hurt to see a score so low as to make me lose all hope of getting exempted--not that I'm saying my score is that low, because I'm hoping against hope that it's not. I was very lucky that Chinese for seniors is all about conversation and practical application, therefore I just had to exercise that part of my brain which is the storehouse for basic foreign phrases.
So next period was Science and I had about 5 minutes to study for the quiz. I would have gotten high if not for carelessness; my common sense wasn't working, and my computations were correct but I didn't see the x10bla so my final answers was wrong. As for A.P., I don't even remember what score I got, probably a 9 or 10. It doesn't matter much because I'm confident about my A.P. exemptions--I hope I won't have to eat my words later on. Sigh. English, Filipino, and A.P. are the only subjects I'm confident that I'm excelling in and exempting.
That Monday, beloved Valentine's Day (not that it held any bit of significance to me), was one of the very rare days I found myself actually sleeping in class, in the middle of a discussion. It wasn't full out sleeping, more like nodding off with eyes fluttering closed. I've slept on purpose before, many times fearlessly when I was a freshman and our terror-inducing androgenous Filipino teacher was right behind me listening to people repot in front. Last year I was nodding off in Math class too. But for senior year, well...I think it's important that I state the average time I sleep every weekday: about 1 or 2 + a.m.--rarely, if ever, before 12 mn) It's gotten as bad as 3, or even 5+ in the morning (on really HW/quiz/project-loaded days). But I have never actually fallen asleep while lessons are going on.
However, that particular Monday, fatigue was settling in my muscles like a blanket as early as after the LQ, and I was having trouble keeping awake. Every single moment the teacher wasn't talking I took as an opportunity to lie my head down and close my eyes...during Math I could hardly listen, let alone write. I kept trying to punch myself mentally, and only succeeded in being conscious enough to see that the notes I'd been trying to write were totally illegible. In A.P. I slept during the newsreports, so when it was time for lesson discussion I was still really groggy. Nothing went in, and I couldn't even keep my eyes open! Teacher noticed though, I suppose, even though she didn't say anything. Finally there was a magical, sudden instant wherein my mind cleared and the grogginess just disappeared just like a blindfold was ripped away from my eyes. My head was suddenly clear enough that I raised my hand for recitation, and when teacher saw that hand she called me right away (which is why I think she knew/noticed I was dozing off).
Well, that's it for horror Sunday to Monday. Quite long, I know...I'd be surprised if you've completely read everything till this far, except if your name is Dhioanne, in which case: yey, thanks Dhio! You're so nice! :D
I'm really going to try to summarize more now. Hmm, Tuesday that week was one of the worst Tuesdays I've ever had. It was my first time ever to have a fight with
this particular friend, one of the closest, nicest friends I've ever hadin my life. And the fight was HUGE, of explosive proportions. It started Monday actually, but it carried over to events of Tuesday; the roots of everything were just misunderstandings and misinterpretations, but oh the havoc it wreaked. That day at dismissal I lost all my self-control and was having a screaming match in the CR downstairs; my palms were tingling, tears kept pouring, I could hardly breathe anymore, out of anger and frustration. BUT, everything that happened on Tuesday is thankfully a thing of the past now. We're okay again, very good friends again.
Along came Wednesday where there was Hanay, the very last Hanay of my life!Wednesday night was supposed to be fantastic actually, because there was not a stitch of HW or quiz for Thursday (kind of a miracle, really). I was fully planning to read the book I needed to do a review on, "The Scarlet Pimpernel" by Baroness Emmuska Orczy. The thing is, the review was due Friday of that same week, but by Wednesday I'd read as much as I had since a month ago, and that was until page 64. Actually, I had to reread all that because I'd already forgotten what those 64 pages said.
What happened is I managed to waste the whole Wednesday night, generally through bidding myself to relax and enjoy the "free time". And there's something else I spent like 2 hours on...debating whether to go for an ipod mini or a 20GB one. I had to do it that night, since it was going to be someone's gift to me and I was asked to reply the next day at the latest (and I'd have had no time then). And I also copied tons of Chinese notes because I didn't understand a word of the Mandarin blathering teacher was using to discuss the stupid story. Honestly, it's the last lesson of the last quarter of the last year of our stay in this demmed torture chamber--i mean, educational institution--and the Chinese department still decides to bid us adieu with a stupid, useless, impractical, memorization-requiring story lesson of all things! I would have much preferred studying conversation, it's a million times easier! Our big fat workbook has so many conversation lessons in it, but how many did we actually take up, huh? Well, I do believe the last was Lesson 6 or 7...and that's because we were commanded to study Chinese history for a month, this other lesson on stupid Nike shoes, a poem entitled "The Most Beautiful Smile" (this last one I enjoyed though, considerably easier than all the other lessons), etc.
So, going back to my original thread, when I lifted "The Scarlet Pimpernel" off my desk, it was like 12 midnight or so already. I was so freaked at myself for having wasted the entire evening, and I got zero or even negative reading done! I had to reread the 64 pages I finished a long time ago, but I only got to page 40 or 50+. By then it was 1+ a.m. and my brain and eyes refused to work anymore.
On to Thursday, which the main event of was the CAT graduation. What is CAT, you might ask. Well, I've heard it stands for Citizens Against Training or something... but then again the A might actually be "academy" or "army". There wasn't really any cramming done that day (well, for me) because as I said, there was NO HW whatsoever. I just think it's important to indicate that on Feb 17, 2005, I formally graduated from a summer + school year of hell under CMP training. What are CMP's? Well, I believe that this group of people can be divided into 2:
a.) Complacent Menial Prigs - The "best" of the "best" of the "best". As such, they are entitled to be arrogant, bossy, omni-correct, and have their every wish obeyed. They can also be described by the term "merit-happy" or "merit-hungry", which means that they do whatever it takes to get merits for themselves, so that they may further their rank in the heirarchy of masochists. They are characterized as sycophant eager-beavers who jump at the opportunity to shine something or/and blindly obey the unreasonable, impractical demands/commands of their superiors.
b.) Crappy Misguided Prisoners...
I'd just like to add, for the record, that at this point my mom actually read everything I'd written thus far. Argh, she wasn't supposed to; I just went to get something from my room and when I came back less than 5 minutes later she was reading (and laughing at) this entry already. Oooh, she wasn't supposed to see it! Now she knows how much of a crammer I really am! She had no idea about the term paper or the bookreview cramming; She didn't come out of her room to check on me Sunday night, and as for the Scarlet Pimpy reading, I slept at intervals s she didn't know I was up a long, long time. She doesn't even know I'm writing this about her now, and I hope she doesn't get to read it! I'll have to be much more prudent and cautious next time...
Again, I ran out of time doing this, and now that I have time again, I have completely lost my momentum and train of thought. So never mind, and this is all I can post. Argh, how bitin...
Topics I was supposed to dwell on...CAT grad; other entry: scarlet pimpernel intro; how i feel about poto the movie. Oh well!