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Nov 30, 2006
Do you know of anyone who has ever been accosted by a rabid fan after an open-to-the-general-public concert? Well I do, and that someone's name is... surprise, surprise: Katco.
Today the Ateneo College Glee Club (ACGC) of which I am a member (visit us at www.ateneogleeclub.org) had its first major Christmas concert of the year at Glorietta 1's activity center. I think it went splendidly--despite our last performance of Pobreng Alindahaw with choreo being decades ago and despite the lackluster audience reception--and before long we were taking our bows and descending by the side of the stage. Because of my position at the end of the semi-circle, I was one of the first to get off the stage, and to my utter surprise right there waiting was a strange Chinese-looking man who looked about oh, a hundred years old (okay fine, maybe 30 something).
The first thing he did was to shake my hand and kiss me on the cheek (getting freaked out here--like, do I know you??) and introduce himself as Richard. Okaaay, so what did he want? Well at first he was kinda just stuttering so I thought he was one of those people who couldn't speak properly (he was slouching too), or maybe he couldn't speak English very well... So I asked if he wanted the Glee Club to sing for him or something. He managed to get out that he "wanted to know more about the Glee Club", so I pulled Lester-- being EVP and all--forward to talk to him instead. Being in a state of bewilderment, I even asked Guita if she knew what our web address was, hoping that means of contact would be enough for "Richard" and he'd leave me alone. Well, no such luck. Because you know what? He wasn't paying the slightest attention to either Lester or Guita. In fact, he kept looking straight at me.
He started asking a series of questions, including some version of "where are you from?". See, that was really vague, and at first I (and the other acgc people around me) were saying Katipunan or Quezon City. For some reason, he kept asking if we were from Makati. Eventually I tried the "where was I from" variant and said San Juan...which, all things considered, might not have been such a smart thing to say, but at least I didn't say Greenhills. He also asked what my course was and I started to say Computer Technology but had the presence of mind to blurt out Communications Technology Management instead (even though it's doubtful he'd have any idea what it is). And then, he also asked for my number. I was completely "Oh my God...", and I don't know what possessed me to give it out. Maybe he asked for it earlier on in the conversation when his level of freakiness hadn't skyrocketed yet, maybe I was in such disbelief it was happening, or maybe it's just hard for me to purposefully give out misinformation about myself...I don't really know. I was still half hoping he'd wanted to hire us to sing for a party or something, but mostly I felt that he was verging on stalker.
And THEN... he asked for my autograph. My autograph! What the heck, did I just hear right?? He fumbled through his black wallet and took out a calling card. I asked if it was his and he said no, flipping it instead, handing me a pen, and repeating his request for an autograph. Okaaaaay, fine...I felt like he was going to scan my signature and use it to forge some documents or my identity or something. And then he asked, "Do you have a dedication for me?" Oh.my.God. Ano baaaa... But I went ahead and wrote the only thing I could think of: "thanks for watching!"
He suggested that we could be textmates (uh, not in this life), and gave me his number too. I said I'd just memorize it (as if I could or even would), but nooo, he told me to go get my phone so I could save it there. Now, I think it's called appeasement when you do or acquiesce to everything someone's suggesting just so that he might eventually leave you alone, and appeasement is something my personality just happens to be fraught with, so I just kept (hopefully charmingly) forcibly smiling whilst repeatedly saying, "okay".
And THEN, he very happily suggested that we take a picture. I'm like, with what camera?? And regrettably, he wasn't so daft as to not realize my phone was equipped with one, so FINE, not to be rude, I asked Issa to take a picture. She was giving me these weirded-out faces, and because I despreately tried to keep from guffawing out loud, I ended up trembling all over. Unfortunately he had his arm around my shoulders then so I'm sure he felt it, as evidenced by his asking afterwards if I was okay. And I said, but of COURSE I was! Why wouldn't I be? *GRIN*
And finally, finally! I was able to blurt out goodbye and a "nice meeting you" (that's me on polite autopilot), with which again he shook my hand and kissed me on the cheek (grimaced when he wasn't looking). And then I ran over to where Jeco was leaning on the railing, hugged him hello, and promptly wailed that that man was uber duper FREAKINESS! He agreed but said it was totally normal, that it happened before during their time, with Mira and Aira and everything. Apparently they had a signal, so if it ever got to the point of being uncomfortable, the girls just had to make that signal and some of the guys would transform into shining knights in armor and whisk them away inside. Well in my case there wasn't actually an "inside" to be whisked off to, but anyway.
I was in the midst of recounting what happened to Lari and Issa who were really curious about it, when suddenly Richard appeared again, holding a glass of pink juice and offering an identical one to me. He's STILL there?? Okay, thank you, can you please go away now. I accepted it and sort of went further into where the rest of the choir was still gathered because it gave me a physical and psychological feeling of security. Someone told me, maybe teasingly, not to drink the juice because it might have drugs or something, and while I don't actually think it did, you never know with the freaky people of the world...
I felt so unnerved the rest of the evening while eating and hanging around waiting for my ride home. Actually, I wanted to head home immediately and even joked to ma'am that I wanted to be moved further inside the semi-circle so next time I wouldn't be prone to such unwanted advances.. I remember when we were buying a camera in Singapore just a few weeks ago and out of nowhere this also oldish guy beside me suddenly asks if we're from the Philippines, how long and where we were staying, proceeds to offer his touring services, etc.etc. What am I, a freaky-people-magnet?? It's so unfair.
It was, on some obscure, not exactly significant level, somewhat vaguely flattering to have had that (horrendous) encounter earlier at Glorietta, but what I don't understand is why the only guys who're ever attracted to me are the absolutely completely wrong types. Hay, life! I might have to wait forever and a day for a half-decent guy to coming knocking at my door...
Trivia of the entry: Did you know, there is no such word as "freaky" in the dictionary? Well, not yet anyway...
Posted at 08:59 pm by katco
Nov 21, 2006
I'm not very delighted with the fact that I'm stuck in the torture chamber that is school again, after having had 5 months of no academic stimuli. Which is not to say I never got stressed because certainly, while Europe was mostly fun and frolicking under the hot Italian sun (or the freezing Netherland rain), it also had its fair share of STRESS. It's quite difficult to manage (feed, clothe, shelter, transport, appease, etc.) a group of almost 40 people... but anyway, that's not the point of this entry.
It's only the second week of school but it feels like I've got a huge load on my shoulders, and not just because I'm overloading either. Just yesterday night I went into what might be considered a mini-breakdown, because--how do I say this--I'm fed up. I'm overwhelmed by my responsibilities, yes, but it's mostly that I am exhausted, burnt out even before the burning begins.
This Christmas season is simply insane. How, how, how can we have so many million engagements lined up? I mean, hello okay, we need them in more ways than one (will not go into detail), but I'd just like to remind everyone that we're just STUDENTS. Primarily, first, and foremost, students. Students not of music, not of voice or piano or conducting or theory, but students with our own varied courses and responsibilities to them. I like, even love singing, definitely, but it just comes down to priorities, and I just cannot sacrifice my academics for a hobby that can get so out of proportion.
Singing is just one part of my life. Travelling is another. I want to go on the Junior Term Abroad. I want to have grades deserving of a slot in JTA France or Norway or Japan. How can I do that if I used to spend at least 9 hours singing every week and now am being obliged to spend, what, 18-20 hours a week? What is this, a job?? Oh, right, except I don't get a salary or compensation or anything.
I want to go home each day not dead tired to the bone, craving rest and sleep. I want to go home when there is still actually sunlight streaming through my windows and with the knowledge that the day isn't over yet. I want to go home and not panic that my brain is already ceasing to function because know I actually have enough time to read and do everything assigned, Histo, Law, Theo, and especially Accounting. In short, I want my time to be my own again. I don't want my time to always be someone else's, to belong to someone else. It's not a privelege anymore, but a colossal, cumbersome burden that's just really bad for me.
I want to let go right now, but I can't, because I'm bound by duties and obligations to people, and I can't just say I don't want to anymore. If someone were from the outside looking in, it'd just be so easy to tell me what to do. But nothing is ever that easy. Choices and consequences are never easy.
Everything I've said is still not actually the point of this entry, but I got carried away reliving the temporary insanity that was the natural inevitable effect of all the pressure, both anticipated and experienced.
Actually today, I had a way better day. I rather like Tuesdays and Thursdays now, because my teachers are absolutely lovely! Sir Santiago for Law is funny, super nice, and easy to be around. He unhesitatingly and hassle-freely agreed to let me become Ivy's classmate, hurrah!! Ms. Clemente for PE 101 is perfectly fine, and I aerobics under her didn't kill me so this shouldn't either; not to mention, I rather love the aircon, especially since it's smack dab in the middle of the scorching noon sun. And Mr. Ricky Abad is just fantastic! Never have I seen someone teach as passionately and liberally and humorously as that before him, and Mr. Tirol for HI 18 (if only, if only... alamak!) I'd really recommend for people to try sitting in both those teachers' classes--they're simply amazing. They'll make you want to have class, want to learn and enjoy it to boot.
Also, I made a new friend today, someone named Dominic from tutor. :) Gee, I didn't even know he was my classmate in Accounting, but that's because I sit waaaay in front and don't actually know the faces of 2/3 of my very few classmates. The poor dear, has to suffer Accounting because he's shifting to Comtech. Anyway, it was a complete blessing that we both had to head back to Ateneo after, because I was running late for yet another engagement and panicking due to my utter lack of knowledge on how and where to commute and even the exact location of the venue.
I've spent too much time already, but the last thing I want to mention is that I found it highly amusing that we ended up singing for an International Almighty Historians of Asia Delegation thing where Inca and I saw our beloved Chinese/HI 16 lao shi and I was struck by a feeling of deja vu. It felt like the delegates from all over asia were us when we were competing in Europe, treated to a warm reception and three days of sumptuous food, luxurious accomodations, and itinerary-based activities. For one fleeting moment, I remembered how it was like in Spittal, in Monchberg, in Arezzo... and even though at times I wanted nothing more but to be back home, now I cherish the memories and the experiences. To go on tour is an experience like nothing else, comparable to nothing else. Even to go on JTA would be a different adventure. I'll always treasure and terribly miss all our host families and the friends we made along the way, but for now I'm back to reality, and I have to push all those thoughts to the archive section in my cranium. I have to get my gears back into stress-comes-with-studying mode, much as I am loathe to do so.
Here's to tomorrow. May it not be a sucky day.
Posted at 08:41 pm by katco
Jan 14, 2006
For anyone who has been, still is, or (God forbid) will be a statistic, these songs are for you. May you find in them some measure of comfort when certain people and circumstances are at their most exasperating.
Torpe
hwag na lang kaya
hari ng katorpehan
hwag hwag na lang kaya
di ka ba nagsasawa sa liwanag ng buwan?
namamatay na ang mga rosas sa tabi
di ka pa rin bumibili
nauubos na ang oras sa kahihintay
pero ni sulat, ni tawag, WALA!
ba't mo pa kailangan ng tulay?
kahit ulap nagsasabi tayo'y bagay
ba't mo pa kailangang magtanong?
kung alam mo na, alam mo na
bilisan mo na ngayon kasi tumatakbo ang tren
bilisan mo na ngayon
iiwanan ka, iiwanan
ayoko ng torpe
ayoko ng torpe
ayoko ng torpe
ayoko ng torpe
ayoko ng torpe
ayoko ng torpe
ayoko ng torpe
ayoko ng torpe
pero gusto kita...
Ang Kulang Na Lang
Alam na ng lahat ang tungkol sa atin
Ngunit sa ating dalawa'y wala pa rin
May tamis sa pagtingin
May tibok sa damdamin
Nagmamaang-maangan pa rin
Alam kong sa ating dalawa ay mayroon na nga
Ngunit takot nga lang umamin sa pagsinta
Pero minsan-minsan nga halos masabi-sabi na
Ang lihim na aking nadarama
Ang kulang na lang ay sabihin ko sayo
At amining totoo na ikaw ay mahal ko
Ang kulang na lang ay maamin mo na rin
Na sa puso't damdamin ako ay mahal mo rin
Ang kulang na lang
Alam na ng lahat ang tungkol sa atin
Siguro nga'y kailangan nang aminin
Talagang para sayo ang puso't buhay ko
Ang kulang na lang ay ikaw na at ako
Sige na nga at aaminin ko na
At baka sa akin ika'y mawala pa
'Wag na lang
Wag na lang kung palagay mo
di tayo magtatagal
'Wag na lang kung kapiraso
ang iyong pagmamahal
'Wag na lang kung napilitan
'Wag na lang kung iiwanan
'Wag na lang maari ba na huwag na lang
'Wag na lang kung di mo kayang
magbigay ng panahon
'Wag na lang kung di makuha
sa iba'y di lumingon
'Wag na lang kung palabas lang
'Wag na lang kung porma lang
'Wag na lang maawa ka o huwag na lang
Kung sasaktan mo lang ako
paluluhain mo lamang
Kung di tapat at totoo
ay huwag na lang
Kung meron kang ibang kutob
paaasahin mo lamang
Kung di buo ang iyong loob
ay huwag na lang
Huwag na lang,
'Wag na lang
'Wag na lang
kapag kaibigan lang pala ang pagtingin
'Wag na lang
kapag hindi tiyak akong mamahalin
'Wag na lang kapag may duda
'Wag na lang kapag di kaya
'Wag na lang
mabuti pa ay 'wag na lang
As to a statistic of what, exactly, the man to ask is Cris G. Thanks for everything, Cris! :) Posted at 10:04 pm by katco
Jan 6, 2006
Gratitude. Aside from being the name of my beloved section when I was but a high school sophomore, it's something I want to give to several people today, by acknowledging them here in my little unknown corner of the cyberspace universe.
Lorenz ~ Thanks for being super nice to me ever since we met. I love how you're not a snob at all and always say hi when we see each other around campus. Plus you talk to me and to ask how life is and stuff. Friendliness like yours is something rare, and I really appreciate it. :)
Howell ~ For the 20 merit points. :D Hahaha... Kidding. Well, of course I'm thankful to you for that (especially being gutsy enough to raise your hand immediately and confidently), but I thank you more for the Christmas gift (really, it's adorable; and i love personalized things!), and for being a great writing buddy. :)
Lysch ~ For bringing my jug up to Math when I accidentally left it on the Zen Garden benches. Thank youuu!
Balucs (I'd like to call you Ian but parang hindi bagay..haha) ~ Maraming salamat po sa inyong pag-alala sa kapakanan ko. I appreciate the concern, the jokes, your listening to me kanina, the advice, and the sympathy. Thank you talaga, it was comforting. :)
Ja and Jo ~ For being super duper nice to me all the time! All those times you guys supported me, helped me out (esp. in, ugh, Math), kept me company, and made smile and laugh when I really need it. Thank you, you are angels :) Of course, I love the rest of our block too!
Mi-chan ~ For always coming to fetch me upstairs and escort me to lunch! Haha.. Thank you for saving me from near insanity. There is NO ONE I can talk to you-know-where. Not a single soul. Dontcha just miss all those passing-notes-with-sensei-reading-over-our-shoulders days? I know I do. ^_^
Charz and R ~ For noticing I wasn't my usual chipper self and trying to cheer me up. Thanks!
Christa ~ Thanks for the ballpen :) Although I shouldn't have borrowed it na noh? Not as if the people in Matteo don't have ballpens.. but no, special kase yung sa yo eh, hahaha! I'm so glad you were there pa kanina, thought you left na. And, thank you very very very much for that hug! I really needed it, more than you can imagine.
Issa ~ Thank you for caring, Issa. It means a lot to me. Thank you so much. You don't have to hesitate next time, just go ahead, I'd really appreciate a friend's presence. :)
And for anyone else who cares...
Right now? I'm not okay. But I will be.
p.s. Kathryn where were you? I passed by your Eng/Lit room around 3:19 but you were all gone. And as usual, you didn't answer your phone (ahem I got disconnected--someone ended the caaall) or text me back. :(
p.p.s. There is a quote in this entry. Can you guess what it is, where it's from, and who said it?
Hint: it's from an old cartoon show I first watched in Canada (no, not Pokémon) Posted at 10:39 pm by katco
Nov 16, 2005
Note: There's a (quite long, interesting) hidden message. Anyone who figures it out, let me know. :)
Riiiiing… I am going to ignore the phone right now. I simply can't be bothered to walk all the way there just to take some call that isn't even for me. Well enough about it, nothing to say so don't feel like talking about it anymore.
In other news… there's too much to say, as usual. I suppose I’ll start from the beginning of my Ateneo life. Can’t say I enjoyed those first few days, too much to take in at once; did they really expect us to know the ropes already right after orsem? Was completely disorienting and discomfiting, not having any idea which direction to head off to, not knowing what to expect at all. Adjustment just isn’t my thing. It’s a bit better now though—well, it ought to be—so I guess all I need is time. I’m just so bloody glad it’s sembreak already, time away from the insane and unfair torture of it all.
Let’s see: this sem, my favorite of all the teachers was… *drumroll* Sir Oca Campomanes! Because of him, life was a lot better than it should’ve been. Grateful to have had him for both Eng and Lit, and shall keep thanking the gods that be M04’s L---- didn’t happen to me. Sure hope she’s not into reading blogs, wouldn’t want her in here, or hearing about it. And I really wish that this whole business of changing English sections was possible, but that infuriating, stubborn, unreasonable woman won’t hear of it. She can’t even state a proper reason (seeing as desiring for everyone to die of stress or high blood pressure isn’t valid). So now, in limbo is as far as anyone will go attempting to escape. Assuming she’ll have a change of heart is kind of like expecting a miracle, but one still has to try; better than wallowing in regret and drowning in homework for another whole semester.
In my experience, it’s always better to at least try. There’s ambiguity and frustration along the way, but mine was worth it and paid off. Choosing a natsci, plagued was I by such uncertainty! Stupidly ended up suffering in Zoology until I decided to stop the torture. Did everything I could, with all those departments leading me on... Finding out freshmen couldn’t “load rev” didn’t stop me. The registrar was my very last hope as I was on the brink of utter hopelessness; thankfully, pleading dissection queasiness was already enough to convince her to shift me to botany class (and unwittingly rescue me from J----). Didn’t know the torture wouldn’t stop just yet…
Taking M----’s botany class (from hell) was like flirting with insanity. She wins Worst Ticher This Sem, hands down. If I’d only had the foggiest idea what lay in store, you bet I wouldn’t have bothered switching natsci’s. Though honestly, I don’t actually know which would have been the lesser evil. I mean, J---- with his ant-sized handwriting and annoying habit of making anything he conjured pass off as the lesson was horrid, but by the end of weeks with M----, J---- actually seemed preferable. It boggles me how she’s such a scum of the earth; you would be wise to avoid her like the plague. She bloody DOESN’T teach. She also gives a million surprise quizzes, major bugger! In the beginning you’ll be deceived into thinking it’s manageable, or this false illusion of security probably settles over you. But if common sense was enough to carry you through effing LT1, you can be sure it will be nowhere near sufficient to do the required memory work for stupid roots, stems, and leaves. Please, don’t even get me started on her photosynthesis, respiration crap (for that’s what it is, plain crap); her definition of “teaching” the lessons was doling out useless bloody handouts—just for the sake of saying we had a discussion—on all these dozens of obscure processes (Calvin Cycle, Krebs Cycle, Electron Transport Chain), leaving my poor classmates and I to decipher convoluted diagrams threatening our sanity. Obviously, this was because her miserable incompetence impeded her from just explaining the effing things to us herself. And there’re these bloody stupid acetates and powerpoints which her insane clicking causes to come and go too quickly for any copying to be possible. Out of her freaking mind is what that horrid witch is… And it’s irritating to the ear how she just has to say “’kay” after every word that spews from her vile mouth. It also makes my blood boil how she’s forever refusing to say properly what next meeting’s quiz is gonna be about. During some part of a discussion, she’ll suddenly go ask some random thing nobody has the foggiest idea about, and without giving it any more thought, maliciously designates it as material for the quiz thing! But the thing is, when the ominous next meeting comes, the quiz will be… on anything but the assigned topic. Her habits of prevarication have caused us more than a few 0’s (you don’t want to be her student, trust me—she might make you keel over from sheer frustration). When you’ve a question and wish to ask her, don’t even bother. She refuses to break her vow of silence lest, attempting to answer, she might confuzzle herself and be exposed as the fraud she is. To me and everyone else, she nonchalantly says to do so and so, check the (non-existent) notes she “gave”, read our book (what darn book, pray tell?)… I refuse to go on and waste much more time ranting about her; just wanted to warn and keep people away from that horrid woman.
I happen to be texting right now, but usually nobody actually feels like texting with me. Has anyone noticed the “atmospheric” tone of this entry? Just suddenly felt the urge to do something kinda different… Should actually stop procrastinating and pack my luggage for China now, but can’t keep myself from getting carried away with this… Wish I were ym-ing too, but no one is ever online any more; makes me wonder how people are spending sembreak, watching TV or chatting until the break of dawn, royally bumming around… In my case, two things have prevented my becoming a total couch potato: (being in a constant state of studying for) rehearsals and guitar lessons. The both of them take up so much time, requiring early morning practices and a sincere commitment to learn, but one does suddenly realize it’s all worth it after each successful song… Can’t stop being so productive even when school’s out for the break, what a curse. J
I’m so very thankful my dear INTACT faci is all for sharing the (guitar) love; thanks a bunch Cris! It is one path to rockstardom, haha... Must first get familiar with all those BM7’s, Gm’s, A7’s, and D#sus’s though. No matter, you are a wonderful teacher and of course, when you say please practice, I do (being an equally wonderful student). :D
Other news: please insert this after my rant on Brainless Botany Bimbo: Oh please, she’s nothing like Ms. K---- from lab who didn’t ever stop being nice to us. Sure, the first few weeks of setting up microscopes and slides and actually seeing something was, for me, positively maddening, but it grew on me (like fungus)… So up to my very last bot lab class, loved Ms. K---- for her unconditional benevolence, congeniality, and competence. I didn't suffer much disappointment at all from that class, yay.
*Ring*. The phone is ringing again. I have so much more to say, but I guess it'll have to wait till another time, or well, till forever.
Posted at 11:45 pm by katco
Oct 2, 2005
I hate being sick. I know lots of people have it worse off than me, but I can not stand having any ailment whatsoever. I haven't been a sickly person for as long as my memory recalls; even though vegetables were non-existent in my diet until lately, and even though I slept an average of five hours per day during my whole high school life, I rarely ever got struck down with cough or colds or fever. But, things seem to be catching up with me...
Last school year, I remember this one time I became super sick (well, by my standards). Shoti Migs was down with some weird thing, and I, having been inhabiting his room for the past months, got ready for bed in his CR for all of 15 minutes max. When I came out and started typing my crammed paper on something, I started to feel a little queer. I dismissed it, finished my paper, and slept. The next morning, I seemed to have felt better, so I took a bath and did everything normally. But come 1st period AP class, my head hurt like hell. I couldn't concentrate, pay attention, or understand anything that was happening, so obviously, I could no longer deny the fact that I was sick.
Even with that in mind, I was determined to trudge through the rest of the torturous Friday. I would not miss my quizzes; it was simply unacceptable. I dragged my poor, battered, heavily sleep-deprived and abused body around until about lunchtime, at which point I decided to drop by the clinic and enlighten them about how I've been spreading germs around ICA since 7:30 in the morning. The (not very nice) nurse person said I had to go home, but I refused; CAT was after lunch, and the freaky and lunatical Ma'am Militante (freedom of speech--I've no fear to get expelled from ICA anymore) had made it quite clear that to absent oneself in any CAT period was to merit a failing grade. I was begging the nurse not to send me home--hello, I'd fail--but she made some call to the aformentioned psycho and assured me I'd be excused. So fine, okay... I went back up to the classroom afterwards, took my physics quiz, and went on my merry way home.
The fever that followed, compounded with colds, was one of the most horrible sicknesses I'd had in a long time. I had to be isoldated in the scary Guest Room downstairs (which was then a bodgea, and now is shoti Martin's room, the poor dear). It felt horrible, those long days of being so deatched from all the other people in the house, just kept in that little room with no form of entertainment or distraction except whatever I could devise myself (i.e. homework). I decided to use the opportunity to start perusing my bookreview novel in ndisturbed silence. Now, I thought "Cry, The Beloved People" (did I get it right?), being in Oprah's Book Club and costing 699 pesos, was going to be worth reading... But I was SO wrong. I tried so hard to like it, pager after grueling page I forced myself onwards. While I read, I got even more depressed about my current sick-siutation, and felt a yawning void of lost-ness within me making itself ever more evident. At the onset of Chapter 9, I decided I couldn't take it anymore; I refused to subject myself to another word of the useless crap. Switched to another book in the list, "Remains of the Day", and that one I enjoyed quite a lot. I loved the super-formal tone and catchy style of Kazuo Ishiguro's narrator, and I lost myself in the story.
I recovered soon after, but not before suffering through endless nights of a clogged nose, tossing and turning in restless sleep, and getting traumatized by the experience of sheer loneliness.
Right now, I'm down with (what I think is) a simple case of cough. It's bothering me very very much because I hate getting sick, even in the least. Especially since the weeks to follow promise to be some of the most demanding in the semester. I have more than enough to worry about without the extra luggage of not being in full health to face all the torture head on. It's not fair; this cough descended on me without the least bit of warning, just *boom!*. I just thank the Lord my voice was still well enough to manage the AILM concert... I hope this goes away real soon, because I can't stand it. I was all broody and quiet during Carol's party because inhaling to talk would have sent me into another hacking spree. I don't have phlegm yet, and hope it never comes.
Beware: Morbidness ahead. Don't read if you don't like gross, queasy things.
A few months earlier, I was struck down with some other bizarre sickness, of the stomachache-diarrhea-vomiting triumvirate sort. It came out of NOWHERE, swear. Sure, Trish was sick with it the day before I was, but everyone said it was just due to food from a party she and mum attended. Obviously, not; when I got home from mass on Sunday and started typing another paper, I felt all queasy and suddenly puked (in the CR of course, not all over the keyboard). What followed was a grand stomachache which I tried to quell by defecating, to the most disgusting results. The waste that came out? Some watery blurb that felt like it could be urine, but looked like gross little orange-brown patches.
How I suffered through Sunday night, couldn't sleep at all. Yet I desperately attempted to pull myself together on Monday morning and head off to school. I almost succeeded too, but at the very last possible second, I felt the urge to defecate--twice--and couldn't get up after the second one. Stars and bright lights exploded before my eyes, my vision was completely distorted, my body spasmed and refused to move...it was hot, so unbearably hot. I knew what I needed to do, saw it in my mind: rush to mum's room (where I was camped out for the duration of my sickness), turn on the aircon, remove my pants, and sprawl out on the bed. I was barely able to force my body to obey, but eventually succeeded.
That stint didn't last long. I was woken up after 3 hours, waited at the doctor's for an hour and a half of my life, felt fine after, went to sleep for about 4 more hours, woke up feeling sort of normal. The next day, I skipped PE because I wasn't up to step aerobics so soon after such trauma.
I sincerely hope I don't get any more sicknesses soon... clearly, college is bad for my health. Or it's all the years of abuse catching up on me (had no idea it would be so soon). It's time to hit the sack now, at the usual time of 2 in the morning. Goodnight World, and Good morning Starshine!
P.S. Why don't I go see the doctor yet? Because I don't believe in medicine. They're not natural at all; they're chemicals, and as such, will be diagnosed by some primitive system in the body as foreign substances (toxins). And while they'll suposedly cure your current ailment, they're very likely to trigger or cause another one as well. Posted at 04:34 pm by katco
Mar 13, 2005
This entry is about how much I totally, absolutely, really really loved the ball. In fact, I think last night was the happiest night of my life! *sighs wistfully* I wish we could have a ball every weekend because like oh my GOSH, I have now officially become a party girl!!!
NOT. NOTNOTNOTNOTNOT. If you even for a second actually believed the three sentences above...wow. Well. I don't know what to say that'd really express my reaction and at the same time not offend you, so I'd rather not say anything. If you're a guy who was sitting at the same table as I during the night of March 12, 2005 (i.e. date of mine or my friends), I'd appreciate it if you kindly clicked on the back button NOW and spare yourself from wasting precious minutes of your life reading what I want to say because you'll only end up hating me for it. Okay? You have been warned; don't blame me for exercising my freedom of speech.
Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the ball. At all. That shouldn't be very surprising, should it? I mean, as I've said before, I really don't enjoy these money-wasting, stress-inducing pathetic excuses for social events. I never have, and I never will. Which is why I am SO unbelievably bloody thankful that THIS sti-uuupid effing graduation ball will be the last event I am ever going to in my life!
Well, in comparison to last year where I'd have to include the disaster that is pre-prom in evaluating how terribly wonderful the prom in its entirety was, I would say the ball wasn't exactly nearly as bad. Close though, maybe. Part of me feels sort of guilty that I always manage to make such a lousy date, but the other part of me feels that the world is just SO unfair, never letting me be set-up with someone who isn't trying to kill me with either silence and boredom or too much dancing (or all three at the same bloody time).
The night started out reasonably fine. The car ride was probably the best part of the night (pathetic? yes, I thought so), where we actually had a conversation going on. I don't know what went wrong after, when we got to New World, except maybe we had absolutely nothing in common therfore we had nothing else to talk about, having exhausted all the possible boring standard topics of conversation. Ugh, it just frustrates me to death that I couldn't find something concrete to chatter mindlessly about...not that I was particularly willing to chatter mindlessly like I was having a dialogue with myself.
Kathryn, Mi-chan, and mg all seemed to be doing quite fine with their dates. Frankie and date were just as quiet as me and mine, but theirs was like, a comfortable silence. Not that "silence" can ever really be comfy when you're beside a guy in a social event and you two are expected to talk, laugh and smile at each other like there's no tomorrow.
Diverging for a while, I'd just like to say that it was Mara's debut the night before ball, March 11. And that was tons of fun, since I was sitting with people I'm totally comfortable with and feel at ease around, whether in silence or not. The ball, on the other hand, was a completely different story. We had dates we were obliged and compelled to entertain and amuse.
There was also a food incident. Well, I thought the food was good for the most part; I was even willing to overlook the tastelessness of the pasta. But there was this one time I was staring at something weird on my plate. It was supposed to be a pea I suppose, only it was really black and had bumps and was as hard as a rock. Now I don't know if I looked really stupid trying to inspect my meal and make sure it was safe to eat, but SOMEone decided to pick on me for doing it anyway. Hmm, I do believe a certain SOMEone casually commented to his date, "She looks like it's the first time she's ever seen a pea in her life." And guess what? I am seriously taking offense at that, you moronic pratty dumbass jerk of an idiot! Yeah, you being the same idiot who also has naked women set as wallpaper somewhere in the depths of your disgusting idiot phone!
Who KNOWS what million other rude, snide comments dropped from his mouth to fall on the ears of one of my closest friends. No wonder she hated him and kept telling me so until the start of dinner; I wonder if she thinks any differently now. Where did she pick him up anyway? I mean, I know Xavier isn't exactly a hotbed for chivalrous, dashing, respectable gentlemen, but I didn't know just how much it wasn't.
And I told you Kathryn, post-ball wasn't such a good idea, was it? It would have been infinitely more fun without our--I mean your--dates too. Actually, the whole ball would've been much muuuch better without the essence of "guys you've never met before and sure as hell are not comfortable with" stinking up the place, especially guys similar to the idiot described in the previous two paragraphs.
What did we accomplish on the night of March 12 and the wee hours of March 13's morning? I don't know about anyone else, but I just gained a few pounds, scorn, offensive comments, and the un-friendship of several people. *Sighs exasperatedly* I just don't see the point! How can anyone enjoy these things??
I'm not in a writing mood today; haven't been inspired at all lately, and have already wasted too much of my Sunday night on this as it is. But there is still one thing left to talk about...
So I finally, FINALLY reached my blessed home, gone upstairs, and divested myself of restricting clothing. Someone was helping to take out the billion pins in my hair, and I felt like taking my corsage off (thank the Lord for putting the thought into my mind). One minute the corsage was lying oh so innocently on my desk, and the next I saw something protruding, wiggling right out the top of the flowers (which were white but had dark edges so I presumed they were dying, much like me last night). My first thought was, "What, is there like, a wind in here or something?" This was of course not very bright of me, but you'll understand that I'd just endured a looong evening. So I looked more closely...only to receive a nasty shock: it was a WORM! I was actually carrying a one-inch long green little creepy crawly thing on my wrist the whole night!
You cannot possibly imagine how disgusted I was at the thought. I was having a mini-freak-out session, torturing myself with unbidden images of "what if" scenarios that mostly consisted of the worm having crawled out of its snug little bed of petals to grace me with its magnificent presence at any point during the lovely ball evening. I'm really grateful that the worm had the decency to wait until I'd gotten home before it decided to make an appearance, because if it had shown up during the ball proper or even during post-ball...I shudder to think what my reaction would have been. It was just SO disgusting. I hate cockroaches the most, but I think spiders and worms are now just as horrid.
Way after the ball is over, there are still going to be lingering aftershocks too, not so much of the worm, but of the company we kept. Meaning, I would have liked to think that I'd never get to see any of the guys at the table ever again and therefore leave the humiliation and scorn of the ball to just that evening, but unfortunately no. And that's because I'll be seeing them pretty soon in Ateneo. Ohhhh, bloody wonderful. Here's hoping they have a really bad case of short-term memory and never recognize me again!
The only cheerful note to any of this is that this ball is the very last one I am EVER going to as long as I live. GOODBYE all the hassle! (i.e. globs of make-up and hairspray) GOODBYE vocally-challenged dates! GOODBYE people I have nothing in common with! I shall never have to put up with you again, nor you I! Doesn't that just sound FAB?! GOOD RIDDANCE!! FOREVER!!! This grad ball is my last worst memory of ICA, and I refuse to really care anymore because it's finally OVER and I never have to deal with any of this ever again. HAH.
Afterthought: I KNEW I should've just made myself sick Friday night. I would've had more fun that way, no awkward silences or irritating prats.
Posted at 10:13 pm by katco
Mar 5, 2005
Balls are useless and stupid and I hate them. Actually, so are proms and sophnights and interactions and (non-)acquaintance parties and soirees. If you know me, then you already know that that's my stand on such things, and if you really know me, then you'll have figured out why.
I didn't ask for a vocally-challenged date. I didn't ask to get an upset stomach on pre-prom. I didn't ask to dance everywhere forever. I didn't ask to get indigestion on prom night. I didn't ask mom to pay for my ball expenses a month after the prom. I didn't ask her to make me a pretty, new gown.
What I did ask for, was not to go to the ball; for mom to take out the ludicrous 3200 pesos of ball expenses on my everyday money "baon"; for me not to have yet another expensive squeeze-you-to-death gown made; for no date to be found...
Tomorrow I'm having a second fitting for that ball gown I don't want, that ball gown which makes me look 10 pounds thinner at the cost of cutting my oxygen supply in half. The color's different this time, a shimmery sort of blue-green which would bring out the "green" in my eyes if I were Aeris, but sadly I'm boringly-pure-Chinese colored.
Does the word corset mean anything to you? Well, according to my handy-dandy electronic dictionary the Language Master, it's "a stiffened undergarment worn for support or to give shape to the waist and hips". Well, the corset in my dress certainly does give shape to the waist and hips. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing anymore. On one hand, I'll probably look some degree of the word fantastic, but on the other hand I'll also probably get some sort of fainting spell before the night is over, and not to mention if I actually finish dinner or bend down, the dress might just explode. That's beauty for you.
Hm, the dressmaker (Len Guiao) is really fast though, she practically finished the gown within a week. By the way, she also made my pastel grad dress, which is even tighter than the ball gown! Miss Hech is going to have a fit when she sees it, and I'll be lucky if they even let me march or get up onstage...
There was originally a long bit here about what I think of this Xanga-blog craze, but in the interests of keeping friends and minimizing offending people, I've decided to post my thoughts somewhere else. Oh it's still public, but only less than 5 people know where it is. For my real friends only, who will understand and not judge me, I'd appreciate your going there, thanks. Just ask me for the url if you don't know it already. :)
Posted at 01:26 am by katco
Mar 4, 2005
The Art of Cramming, etc.
Yey, time enough to actually write something again! If whoever is reading this is a Charitian: yes, well, I've noticed that my blog is reeeally plain and simple compared to everyone else's (kix, mich, bliddy and esp. mg), but I don't care to decorate and ornament anything right now--and most likely never will. Perhaps some day in summer when I am bored out of my mind (which isn't about to happen since I have a ton of things listed in my procrastinated TTD which I must see to first). And anyway, why should I bother putting pictures of moi (or even updating this blog) when no one is reading anyway?? I might as well just go scribble in my diary... I originally thought to write about this in there, but decided to post here first because I'm reading fics right now and the compy is in front of me anyway...
Okay. On Sunday to Monday (Feb 13-14) and on Thursday to Friday (Feb 17-18), I thought I was going to die of stress. Not seriously, of course, but I was pushing my luck totally beyond the extreme; I'm not quite sure if there was any point in my life where I crammed as much as I did this week. It's a miracle I actually survived, and with very few untoward incidents.
I'll do my best to give a summarized version, since I prefer to write everything in detail where no one will get to see it but me. Hmm, let's start with Sunday... See, I had this term paper due the Friday before (Feb 11). <Aaah, I hope the teacher concerned won't ever stumble on this entry because it's so shameful! I'm supposed to be this smart and responsible student!> The problem was that by Feb 10, my groupmates and I had barely done anything; our "term paper" consisted then of the introduction, notecards, and bibliocards, period. I really didn't mean to leave it till the very last possible moment, but there was just no time! Partly because of the insane amount of homework/quizzes we get dumped with week after week, partly because I had tons of extra stuff to do, and partly because my time management absolutely sucks (I might well be the worst procrastinator the world has ever seen).
However, God took great pity on me and decided to be merciful: He called out to the heart of another section's teacher to give an extension (I suppose he tried the other teachers too, but in vain). So, I was ecstatically elated to hear, the due date was moved to a weekend after, to Monday (Feb 14). Yes! Kathryn and I weren't about to die on Thursday night! Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord!!!
Oh, what has Kathryn got to do with anything? I suppose by now we've deserved the unofficial status of "Best Crammers in Class", because--and I'm not being arrogant--I believe that we undoubtedly are. And by the way, there is this one little thing about the grouping for that term paper: teacher appointed the leaders, and told them to pick any two other people (obviously not among the leaders to form groups of 3 or 4. Well guess what. I'm a leader! And Kathryn is too! And oh that is soooo absolutely perfect! Nothing would make me happier than to be a leader! ...NOT!
That forced arrangement was practically one of the worst, most horrible, irritating, unfair, effing bloody things that we had to live through for that subject this school year. I say "we" because I'm referring to myself and Kathryn. For all I know, the other leaders could have bloody well enjoyed slaving over their papers! But as for me, I hated it SO SO SO SO much! Primarily because there was now no way Kathryn and I would be groupmates, and therefore no way to help each other do one paper together. Now we were stuck doing the paper for other people practically completely by ourselves.
I'm sorry, I hope none of our groupmates ever get to read this entry either. I don't mean to offend the members of my group, though I can't exactly say the same for hers. It's just that my groupmates and I did try to work on the paper together... albeit just twice. The first time it was just two of us, and we were working separately. The second time it was the two of us, and after awhile came the third member... and we ended up staring at the monitor in silence for the better part of those few hours.
So anyway, thankfully there was now the weekend to cram and not just 12 hours (Thursday 5 p.m. to Friday 5 a.m. it would have been, without sleep). Unfortunately, the weekend wasn't exactly free. My friends and I had planned weeks before to watch "Phantom of the Opera" on Feb 12, Saturday. I agreed because I thought we'd have submitted the paper already by Friday so I'd have been free that weekend. When I learned about the extension, I didn't and couldn't cancel the movie plan, so I went. That Saturday I woke up at 1 p.m., watched POTO, and got home at 5. I have absolutely no idea how I managed to waste all the time between 5 to 10 p.m., because that was only when I started cramming the whole body, conclusion, recommendation, and outline.
I worked and toiled till...can you guess what time? Till around 5:15 a.m. of Sunday. I know, I know, I'm crazy; I couldn't work with people around so I waited till the whole country was asleep before actually doing anything. Because one of my groupmates fortunately made all the graphs already (it was a gargantuan help), I managed to type about 1/3 of the body (presentation and interpretation) that night/morning. It was hell to get started; not knowing what to say first, where to begin, how to mush--i mean, incorporate--all those sources into the interpretation and analysis, not even knowing if I was doing the right thing...
So I slept at 5:30 a.m. Sunday, and woke up 1+ p.m. I think. Plenty of time to work on the paper right? Wrong. Very, very wrong. Because, there just had to be a New Year's celebration at MTQ and my class just had to perform this song-with-sign-language number and I just absolutely had to go because there were plus points and I totally needed the points because I am at present silding further and further away from the Chinese exemptions I so desperately want.
So I went. And I performed. And boy were there many of us: 8 out of 38; Which fact incurred the wrath of Poseidona who loves to wear flowers. But that's not important, at least not in this entry. When I got home it was around 5 p.m., and I plopped down in front of the computer to work on the term paper that was due in less than 15 hours.
I typed and thought and ymed (to ask questions about the paper and find sympathy in the misery of others who were still up doing last minute touches/cramming on their papers). The hours went by...my deluded little self actually thought I'd finish by 2 or 3 a.m. and therefore still have enough time to cram my Chinese LONG QUIZ, first period Science quiz, and last period A.P. quiz. But there's no way I could be that lucky, really. I ended up working a whoooooole 14 hours straight, and without a single second of sleep. Funny, I hadn't actually been sleepy to the point of brain malfunction during those 15 hours...I work very, very well under pressure, see. I don't like it one bit, but I can't seem to curb that awful habit of mine!
I finished the paper around quarter to 7, took a quick bath, printed the paper till 7:27, and got to school about 7:30, which was really cutting it close. Oh my gosh, I made it! I'm satisfied that I worked on it to the best of my capabilities, and I assure you that anyone who doesn't know me wouldn't have been able to tell it was crammed. I really want to know what score we got for it...
When I got to school I still had adrenaline pumping, and I thought to study for the Science quiz which I believed to be in less than 10 minutes. One of my groupmates took care of submitting the killer term paper (note, I say "killer" because it almost killed me--it kind of did for the day). I was going to study for Science, but I felt okay with not doing too well on it if ever because I could afford to cancel this quiz and I wasn't running for exemptions anyway. However, someone told me that the Chinese long quiz was FIRST PERIOD! I nearly died of panic. I had NOT, totally NOT, studied a single word of anything, let alone two whole lessons! And we were having the LQ in what, less than 8 minutes?! I was so scared! I kept panicking, shrieking I was going to fail, staring at the seemingly unending list of sheng tse tsoo in without absorbing anything, flipping through the reviewer and having absolutely no idea where to start... Thank goodness one of my groupmates was there trying to calm me a bit so I could actually absorb something.
If I'm remembering correctly, that LQ was the first ever in my personal history that I practically did not study for. Because I always study for everything; for both quizzes and LQ's alike I cram studying on the day itself, during periods before the test. The only reason I hadn't been able to study at all prior to those precious 8 minutes is that our wonderful, fantastic teacher had never actually told us what time the Chinese LQ would be. If I had only known it was bloody first period, I would have worked on the term paper faster and forced myself to make studying-time for the LQ
When we were about to start the test I was in no way ready for, who should come rushing in the room but Kathryn! Oh my gosh, she's actually worse off than I am! And that's really saying something...Her term paper was late (we found out later that 2 pages were even missing), her glasses framed a face that was powdery-white with stress overload, she looked to have been dragged through hell and back, and worst of all she hadn't even gotten the chance to so much as open her Chinese workbook and scan through anything. At that point, I felt slightly luckier that my lot hadn't been as bad as hers (although she did get some sleep and I got literally not one second of it).
As for Chinese...up to now she hasn't returned our LQ's yet; she's had 4 days to check but she didn't return them last Friday. It will hurt to see a score so low as to make me lose all hope of getting exempted--not that I'm saying my score is that low, because I'm hoping against hope that it's not. I was very lucky that Chinese for seniors is all about conversation and practical application, therefore I just had to exercise that part of my brain which is the storehouse for basic foreign phrases.
So next period was Science and I had about 5 minutes to study for the quiz. I would have gotten high if not for carelessness; my common sense wasn't working, and my computations were correct but I didn't see the x10bla so my final answers was wrong. As for A.P., I don't even remember what score I got, probably a 9 or 10. It doesn't matter much because I'm confident about my A.P. exemptions--I hope I won't have to eat my words later on. Sigh. English, Filipino, and A.P. are the only subjects I'm confident that I'm excelling in and exempting.
That Monday, beloved Valentine's Day (not that it held any bit of significance to me), was one of the very rare days I found myself actually sleeping in class, in the middle of a discussion. It wasn't full out sleeping, more like nodding off with eyes fluttering closed. I've slept on purpose before, many times fearlessly when I was a freshman and our terror-inducing androgenous Filipino teacher was right behind me listening to people repot in front. Last year I was nodding off in Math class too. But for senior year, well...I think it's important that I state the average time I sleep every weekday: about 1 or 2 + a.m.--rarely, if ever, before 12 mn) It's gotten as bad as 3, or even 5+ in the morning (on really HW/quiz/project-loaded days). But I have never actually fallen asleep while lessons are going on.
However, that particular Monday, fatigue was settling in my muscles like a blanket as early as after the LQ, and I was having trouble keeping awake. Every single moment the teacher wasn't talking I took as an opportunity to lie my head down and close my eyes...during Math I could hardly listen, let alone write. I kept trying to punch myself mentally, and only succeeded in being conscious enough to see that the notes I'd been trying to write were totally illegible. In A.P. I slept during the newsreports, so when it was time for lesson discussion I was still really groggy. Nothing went in, and I couldn't even keep my eyes open! Teacher noticed though, I suppose, even though she didn't say anything. Finally there was a magical, sudden instant wherein my mind cleared and the grogginess just disappeared just like a blindfold was ripped away from my eyes. My head was suddenly clear enough that I raised my hand for recitation, and when teacher saw that hand she called me right away (which is why I think she knew/noticed I was dozing off).
Well, that's it for horror Sunday to Monday. Quite long, I know...I'd be surprised if you've completely read everything till this far, except if your name is Dhioanne, in which case: yey, thanks Dhio! You're so nice! :D
I'm really going to try to summarize more now. Hmm, Tuesday that week was one of the worst Tuesdays I've ever had. It was my first time ever to have a fight with
this particular friend, one of the closest, nicest friends I've ever hadin my life. And the fight was HUGE, of explosive proportions. It started Monday actually, but it carried over to events of Tuesday; the roots of everything were just misunderstandings and misinterpretations, but oh the havoc it wreaked. That day at dismissal I lost all my self-control and was having a screaming match in the CR downstairs; my palms were tingling, tears kept pouring, I could hardly breathe anymore, out of anger and frustration. BUT, everything that happened on Tuesday is thankfully a thing of the past now. We're okay again, very good friends again.
Along came Wednesday where there was Hanay, the very last Hanay of my life!Wednesday night was supposed to be fantastic actually, because there was not a stitch of HW or quiz for Thursday (kind of a miracle, really). I was fully planning to read the book I needed to do a review on, "The Scarlet Pimpernel" by Baroness Emmuska Orczy. The thing is, the review was due Friday of that same week, but by Wednesday I'd read as much as I had since a month ago, and that was until page 64. Actually, I had to reread all that because I'd already forgotten what those 64 pages said.
What happened is I managed to waste the whole Wednesday night, generally through bidding myself to relax and enjoy the "free time". And there's something else I spent like 2 hours on...debating whether to go for an ipod mini or a 20GB one. I had to do it that night, since it was going to be someone's gift to me and I was asked to reply the next day at the latest (and I'd have had no time then). And I also copied tons of Chinese notes because I didn't understand a word of the Mandarin blathering teacher was using to discuss the stupid story. Honestly, it's the last lesson of the last quarter of the last year of our stay in this demmed torture chamber--i mean, educational institution--and the Chinese department still decides to bid us adieu with a stupid, useless, impractical, memorization-requiring story lesson of all things! I would have much preferred studying conversation, it's a million times easier! Our big fat workbook has so many conversation lessons in it, but how many did we actually take up, huh? Well, I do believe the last was Lesson 6 or 7...and that's because we were commanded to study Chinese history for a month, this other lesson on stupid Nike shoes, a poem entitled "The Most Beautiful Smile" (this last one I enjoyed though, considerably easier than all the other lessons), etc.
So, going back to my original thread, when I lifted "The Scarlet Pimpernel" off my desk, it was like 12 midnight or so already. I was so freaked at myself for having wasted the entire evening, and I got zero or even negative reading done! I had to reread the 64 pages I finished a long time ago, but I only got to page 40 or 50+. By then it was 1+ a.m. and my brain and eyes refused to work anymore.
On to Thursday, which the main event of was the CAT graduation. What is CAT, you might ask. Well, I've heard it stands for Citizens Against Training or something... but then again the A might actually be "academy" or "army". There wasn't really any cramming done that day (well, for me) because as I said, there was NO HW whatsoever. I just think it's important to indicate that on Feb 17, 2005, I formally graduated from a summer + school year of hell under CMP training. What are CMP's? Well, I believe that this group of people can be divided into 2:
a.) Complacent Menial Prigs - The "best" of the "best" of the "best". As such, they are entitled to be arrogant, bossy, omni-correct, and have their every wish obeyed. They can also be described by the term "merit-happy" or "merit-hungry", which means that they do whatever it takes to get merits for themselves, so that they may further their rank in the heirarchy of masochists. They are characterized as sycophant eager-beavers who jump at the opportunity to shine something or/and blindly obey the unreasonable, impractical demands/commands of their superiors.
b.) Crappy Misguided Prisoners...
I'd just like to add, for the record, that at this point my mom actually read everything I'd written thus far. Argh, she wasn't supposed to; I just went to get something from my room and when I came back less than 5 minutes later she was reading (and laughing at) this entry already. Oooh, she wasn't supposed to see it! Now she knows how much of a crammer I really am! She had no idea about the term paper or the bookreview cramming; She didn't come out of her room to check on me Sunday night, and as for the Scarlet Pimpy reading, I slept at intervals s she didn't know I was up a long, long time. She doesn't even know I'm writing this about her now, and I hope she doesn't get to read it! I'll have to be much more prudent and cautious next time...
Again, I ran out of time doing this, and now that I have time again, I have completely lost my momentum and train of thought. So never mind, and this is all I can post. Argh, how bitin...
Topics I was supposed to dwell on...CAT grad; other entry: scarlet pimpernel intro; how i feel about poto the movie. Oh well!
Posted at 11:20 pm by katco
Feb 23, 2005
Tired and sleepy now, probably lethargic from all the food (Hagen Daaz is the best! And it was ice cream cake too!). Just came from the Yao-clan "family reunion" thing that's to start this month and go on till forever...aah, kiks, drop by one of these months :) Every time it's at Aunt Lilian's house, there are always foreign people (which I find so weird because I've never seen them before in my life). Oh, but the cute guy from last time whom we think has an *ahem* interest in Achie Shawn Kim wasn't there today :( What's his name? Ah, forgot already.
Just wanted to say...today is one of the (really rare) nicer days spent in ICA. No HW, tons of free periods...well, that's only because it's already PT next week, but that's not the point. Was exempted from Accounting PT! YESSS!!! Best event of the day: awarding! The group who got the most points in the half-a-quarter-long Odyssey game is...*drumroll*...Kristine's group!! Yey us! :)
Since I don't want to proclaim my happiness in the classroom for fear of being thought of as arrogant, I'll just say it here (where practically no one will see it). I'm really happy we won; all our hard work from Book 1 until the very last Book 24 has finally paid off! No more competition, no more pressure to read and recite, and especially no more fastforwards!
To my quadrant members: thank you very, very much! I really appreciate being grouped with you guys. Thanks for putting up with my quirks, for caring as much as I do about the points, for getting yields, for being so determined, and for everything else! I wouldn't wanna be in any other group, because you guys are the best groupmates talaga :)
The long-awaited and sought-after prize: mechanical pencils with matching lead tubes! Well, I don't think it's what anyone expected, but they're really cute. Thank you to Ms. Lim and her mum. :) For the longest time I was just staring at the colorful tubes of lead, not knowing what they were...by the time I found out, all the pieces of lead inside one of the tubes had fallen to the floor and several were broken into bits, how sad. :( I have no idea how it happened, since I didn't feel it slipping or anything.
One of the mech pens was acting up too. The lead wouldn't come out, so Maddy had to dissect it, and she found a bit stuck inside. Quite fortunately, Dhio came to the rescue and dislodged it; but then it still refused to work (stubborn lead) so she fixed it again, for good this time. Hm, and it took so long for us to figure out how to get lead inside the mech pen too (in the proper way--that is, not by shoving it from the bottom up). I found out you just had to flick something on top :)
Okay, why am I writing so long again? I don't know...I believe in being thorough? If this keeps up and I update semi-daily, well... Ah, so that's why in Cha's christmas gift with Charity people's grad pics, my caption says "the long writer"!
Anyway, another happy thing for the day: was awarded with best performance in English for the school year, yey! Didn't know there was an award for something like that, and even more surprised to have unexpectedly won, but am very happy about it. :) Received a book for my efforts, "The View from Saturday" by E.L. Konigsburg. Excited to read, and will do so as soon as I'm done with the tons of stuff I borrowed from various people...got to finish The Roald Dahl Treasury, an HP reference book, Grandia 2, The Secret Circle 2 and 3, a bunch of DVDs, etc. etc....
Yet more wonderful things of today: that term paper I *ahem* didn't have too much time to work on? Well, I got a 24/25 for it, yeeeeey! And the bookreview I did in a couple of periods the day it was due? 20/20! Ah, lovely. I think I may be blessed with lots of luck, and I daresay that I have by now mastered the extremely stressful art of cramming. I've discovered that apparently, I work quite well under pressure. The only cost is, well, indelible dark poofs under my eyes which are reminiscent of those seen on pandas and raccoons. On them the black spots actually look cute, but I don't think I have to tell you how they make me look.
And that's all, just wanted to share and express my delight in today's recognition of achievements :) I'm not in a writing mood right now, how sad. Words aren't flowing as easily as they should. Oh well, maybe it's because I've been wanting to sleep since the moment I got home. Goodnight world!
Posted at 11:18 pm by katco
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